The Pen is Mightier

Today is a glorious day blogger-groupies. I checked my mail and I had a letter from parking services that read: Appeal Approved with a check for $75. In order for you to understand why this is so exciting for me let me tell you how I got that ticket:

Last Tuesday I went to pick my girlfriend up from her astronomy class in cooper science. I was in her car (with a green parking pass on the windshield) and was just going to park at a meeter, go inside, and walk out with her. However, all of the meeters were full. So I parked one space away from them and wrote a letter that read:

Dear Parking Services,

I am running in to cooper to pick up my girlfriend. All the meeters are full so I am leaving the change on this paper to compensate.

This was at exactly 12 o'clock. I left 75 cents on top of the letter and I went inside to pick my up girlfriend. Upon returning at 12:03 I found a ticket on the wipers and my note that the officer had written on. It said: Unfortunately, I had to give you a ticket despite your generous donation to parking services. Obviously, I was a little flustered that this pompous, arrogant, and probably illegitimately-conceived-officer who only works at parking services due to his inability to get into a real police unit would not only fine me after I clearly stated why I was parked how I was, but that he took my quarters anyway. However, I politely went to parking services office and asked to appeal my fine. They told me that I had to write up an appeal and it would be looked at by a committee of students. She also stated that it was normally hand written and about a paragraph long. I turned in a 6 and a half page paper, typed and cited correctly in MLA format (Thanks english 101/102) explaining to the committee that I was wrongly accused of my "improper parking pass in a restricted area". Using both my girlfriends book on Business Law and Ethics and the pamphlet generously provided to me by the assistant at parking services I was able to talk my way out of my fine.

Final Score: Anthony- $75 Parking Services- $.75

P.S. To the cop that wrote me that ticket: I hope that on your way home from work you go off the road, wreck, and as your car catches fire, you have to mawl your own legs off to survive. Then as you crawl back to your home, through every piece of glass ever used by man, a salt truck comes by accidentally dropping every last grain onto your legs. Once you finally do make it home, you find that your "girlfriend" turns out to be a guy who in fact still likes women but was just confused as to your gender. Having realized that you are not in fact filthy rich or even remotely close to making any income at all he leaves you. You then realize that he always leaves the gas stove on after he cooks. However, it's too late and the pilot light quickly ignites causing a chain reaction that spontaneous combustion. As your one-story house with inefficient wiring and plumbing rains down upon you splinters begin tearing into your skin at speeds so fast that you don't even notice as your arms are ripped off. Now with no limbs to speak of you have no defense against the indigenous wolves that live in the woods next to your previously pitiful shelter. Smelling the turkey gravy (of which you are deathly allergic) that started the fire they draw near. As they begin to eat you, it becomes clear that you have neither fulfilled any of the goals in life that you set out to do, or made any acquaintances that have ever paid any attention to you. As death slowly takes hold, your mother calls: you were adopted and they never really loved you.